Jokes You Can Use:
What did the tired chess player do?
He took the knight off
Phil had just joined a club after his friend had recommended it (being a member for quite some time). They were sitting in the clubhouse when someone yelled “21” and there was a small uproar of laughter. A few minutes later someone else yelled “34” and another roar of laughter rose up. Phil, confused about this asked his friend “Why is everyone laughing at the numbers being called out” His friend said, well we’ve been telling the same jokes for so many years that we just numbered them all and if you want to tell a joke you just call out a number” Phil nodded and said “Can I try?” His friend nodded and Phil called out “121” and everyone in the club roared with laughter and it didn’t die down for at least another 15 minutes after. “Why did everyone laugh so hard at that joke?” Phil asked. His friend said with a small chuckle “We haven’t heard that one before.”
A man asked his wife what she’d like for her birthday. “I’d love to be eight again.” she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her off to the local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, every thing there was. Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald’s where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, and her favorite M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well, Dear, what was it like being eight again?” Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. “I meant my dress size!!!!!!!
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he’s gonna get it wrong.
Things to do @ Wal-Mart while the significant other is taking his/her sweet time:
- Get cans of cat food and randomly put them in people’s carts when they don’t realize it.
- Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
- Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in house wares,” and see what happens.
- Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to “10.”
- Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
- Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
- Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
Why do fish sing so poorly? You can’t Tuna Fish!
Players Leave Court to Confront Bullies
A group of middle school basketball players walked off the court in the middle of a game when they heard bullying coming from the stands directed at cheerleader, Desiree Andrews, who has Down syndrome.
Evolution of Girl Baby Names
4 minute YouTube video. Bubbles indicate popularity.
Popular Baby Names
Vast resources on Baby names. Searchable by Decade, Name, State, etc.
Middle School Science Minute
Safety on the Move
I was recently reading the January, 2015 issue of “Science Scope,” a magazine written for middle school science teachers, published by the National Science Teachers Association.
In this issue, I read a safety article written by Ken Roy, entitled “Safety on the Move.” He explains that the number of force and motion activities at the middle school level is endless. However, the potential for injury is also high.
From the Twitterverse:
|Joy Kirr @JoyKirr
@ADressander Pick a tab for your grade level here: http://www.livebinders.com/play/play/829279?tabid=6f5c8753-5bbe-2533-6eef-45ce567ba965 … Passionate teachers blogging about #geniushour! @thenerdyteacher
|Erin Klein @KleinErin
A Helpful Resource to Support Close Reading in the Classroom via Snap!Learning –> http://www.kleinspiration.com/2015/03/a-helpful-resource-to-support-close.html … #edchat #macul15 #ascd15 #mra15
All the reasons why emotionally intelligent people are so happy at work http://qz.com/360917
|JoEllen McCarthy @JoEllenMcCarthy
“Love of learning is more important than test scores.” Amen! Love these quotes on this #ascd15 swag bag.
|Wired Educator @WiredEducator
New Post: “The Best Chromebook is… an iPad” http://wirededucator.com/the-best-chromebook-is-an-ipad/ …
|#mschat every Thursday at 8:00 pm Eastern Standard Time. And as Troy says, “The Twitter never stops!”|
The Price of Freedom: America at War
Ultimate Guide to Free Resources
You may not realize it, but if you use Google to find an image and then use it in a project, you’re likely breaking the law. Unless you’ve been given permission to use the image by its creator, then you cannot legally or ethically use it.
Happily, there’s an easy way to find images on Google that you can use, plus a slew of other sources for high-quality images that won’t cost you a dime—either up front or later on in a lawsuit.
A GAME-BASED CLASSROOM RESPONSE SYSTEM
FOR SCHOOLS, UNIVERSITIES, & BUSINESSES
Follow hashtags across multiple platforms.
Best way to use Twitter at a conference
Aiming to be the Yelp! of education.
Random Thoughts . . .
Moodle Presentation at MACUL