MSM 266: Shawn’s had enough, enough I tell you! And most of this you can use for Advisory, Advisory, Advisory!!!- Patent Pending.
Presented in collaboration with the Association for Middle Level Education.
Jokes You Can Use:
Why is it called a ‘Picnic’?
Betty Sue wanted to eat outside on a hot summer day with her boyfriend. Problem: she had two boyfriends, Fred and Nick. Considering she knew she wouldn’t have a very happy lunch if the two boys were arguing, she decided just to choose one boy to have the meal.
She Picked Nick.
If a cat won an Oscar, what would he get?
An a-cat-emy award.
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley
motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop.
The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey, Doc, can I ask you a question?”
The surgeon a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, “So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take valves out, fix ’em, put ’em back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I get such a small salary and you get the really big bucks, when you and I are doing basically the same work?”
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic…
“Try doing it with the engine running.”
Bubba and Johnny Ray, two good ole boys from North Carolina, were sitting’ on the front porch when a large truck hauling rolls and rolls of sod went by.
“I’m gonna do that when I win the lottery,” said Bubba.
“Do what?” asked Johnny Ray.
“Send my grass out to be mowed,” answered Bubba.
Somehow we always think we are aging at a slower rate than everyone else, this was true of this older woman who is seeing a doctor for the first time.
She was taken into a room and told to “make herself comfortable.” While reading the doctor’s diploma on the wall, she realizes that she went to high school with him many years ago.
The doctor enters the room; he is very gray, and slightly bent over from old age, and says “hello, how can I help you?”
The woman asks; “Did you attend Roosevelt High School?”
“Yes I did”, the doctor answered.
She asks: “Class of 79?” “Yes I was”, was the answered.
The woman was delighted, and said: “You were in my class!”
The doctor responded: “What did you teach?”
Twitter: Erin McAndrews
Best City to Visit
London is on track to being the most popular tourist destination in the world, beating Paris and New York, with latest numbers showing visitors to the UK capital up 20 per cent. The rivalry between ‘The Big Smoke’ (London) and ‘The City of Love’ (Paris) comes amid another media-based spat between Britain and France over the economy.
Kind of like Word of the day,
Middle School Science Minute
MIDDLE SCHOOL SCIENCE MINUTE-SAFETY IN VIDEOS
I was recently reading the November, 2013 issue of Science Scope, a magazine written for Middle School Science Teachers, published by the National Science Teachers Association. In this issue, I came upon an article entitled, “Safety in Videos,” written by Ken Roy, Director of Environmental Health and Safety for Glastonbury Public Schools.
Ken shares his advice on how teachers should always review media with an eye toward appropriate safety practices.
From the Twitterverse:
True Grit: The Best Measure of Success and How to Teach It
Can you predict academic success or whether a child will graduate? You can, but not how you might think.
This scientist has three patents pending. He also happens to be 12.
40 more maps that explain the world
Maps can be a remarkably powerful tool for understanding the world and how it works, but they show only what you ask them to. You might consider this, then, a collection of maps meant to inspire your inner map nerd. I’ve searched far and wide for maps that can reveal and surprise and inform in ways that the daily headlines might not, with a careful eye for sourcing and detail. I’ve included a link for more information on just about every one. Enjoy.
Rag Linen, named for the heavy-duty paper on which pre-19th century news was printed, is an online museum of rare and historic newspapers, which serve as the first drafts of history and the critical primary source material for historians, authors and educators. Curator and publisher Todd Andrlik has built one of the most significant and comprehensive private collections of Revolutionary War era newspapers. Glimpses of the newspapers can be found on RagLinen.com, but the full archive of American Revolution newspaper coverage will be made public for the first time in the forthcoming book, Reporting the Revolutionary War: Before It Was History, It Was News (Sourcebooks, November 2012).
Before 1870, newspapers were printed on a sturdy paper made by pulping linen rags, often from clothes or ship sails. Thanks to the durability of rag linen paper and Johannes Gutenberg’s invention of the printing press, history’s most important events from the 16th through the 19th centuries are often well preserved in printed form.