Jokes You Can Use:
Patient: “What are the chances of my recovering doctor?”
Doctor: “One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. “Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated; the others all died.”
Farmer Joe was in his car when he was hit by a truck. He decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’?” said the lawyer.
Farmer Joe responded, “Well I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the….” “I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted, “just answer the question.”
“Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’!”
Farmer Joe said, “Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road….”
The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”
By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule Bessie.”
Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, “Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other.
I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.
Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, “Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?”
Some boy scouts from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce, the boys had to hide under their blankets to avoid being bitten. Then one of them saw some lightning bugs and said to his friend, “We might as well give up. They’re coming after us with flashlights.
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “why is the bride dressed in white?” “Because white is the color of happiness,” her mother explained. “And today is the happiest day in her life.” The child thought about this for a moment. “So why is the groom wearing black?”
A man and an ostrich walk into a restaurant. The waitress asks, “What will it be?”
The man replied “a burger and a coke.” “And you?” “I’ll have the same,” the ostrich replies. They finish their meal and pay. “That will be $4.50,” The man reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact amount. They do this every day till Fri.
“The usual?” she asked. “No, today is Friday. I’ll have steak and a coke.”
“Me too.” says the ostrich. They finish and pay. “That will be $10.95”
The man reached in and pulls out the exact amount again just like all week.
The waitress was dumb-founded. “How is it that you always have the exact amount?”
“Well,” says the man. “I was cleaning my attic and I found a dusty lamp. I rubbed it and a genie appeared.” Wow!” said the waitress.
“What did you wish for?” “I asked that when I needed to pay for something, the exact amount would appear in my pocket.”
“Amazing! Most people would ask for a million dollars. But what’s with the ostrich?”
“Well,” said the man. “I also asked for a chick with long legs.”
“Thou canst not have this and eat it too,” said Tom archaically.
“I’ll give you a haircut you’ll NEVER forget!” said Tom barbarously.
- Email: Jill Hines
- Diigo: Wendy Allen
The Kids Should See This
There’s just so much science, nature, music, art, technology, storytelling and assorted good stuff out there that my kids (and maybe your kids) haven’t seen. It’s most likely not stuff that was made for them…
But we don’t underestimate kids around here.
Search & enjoy 1,850+ smart & super-cool, “not-made-for-kids, but perfect for them” videos in the classroom or together at home, curated by Rion Nakaya with her 4 & 7 year olds. Click play and start a conversation.
15 Sneaky Ways Grocery Stores Control Your Mind and Money
Middle School Science Minute
MORE ON THE EQUIP RUBRIC
I was recently reading the January, 2015 issue of “Science Scope,” a magazine written for middle school science teachers, published by the National Science Teachers Association.
In this issue, I read an article written by Molly Ewing, entitled “EQuIP-ped for Success. She explains that the Educators Evaluating the Quality of Instructional Products (EQuIP) Rubric for science is a new tool for science educators that provides criteria by which to examine the alignment and overall quality of lessons and units with respect to the Next Generation Science Standards.
*AND THANKS FOR THE BOWLING REFERENCE!
Keep up the great work and congrats on bowling (ok, podcasting) at “300 game!” That is pretty awesome.
From the Twitterverse:
|Jeremy Badiner @MrBadinerWant to play a fun interactive map based game? Try Smarty Pins! https://smartypins.withgoogle.com|
|Michele Corbat @MicheleCorbatDefinition of “baby” and “bathwater” from “Inevitable: Mass Customized Learning in the Age of Empowerment” #COLchat|
|Brad Wilson @dreambitionWhere Have All The Teachers Gone? http://ow.ly/JYF4g ht @colonelb Time to take the profession back #michED|
|Scott McLeod @mcleodSchool leaders talking: ‘when it comes to technology, where are we stuck?’ #innovategraded|
|Monte Tatom retweeted Shelly Sanchez @ShellTerrell · 4 Stages of Teacher Confidence in the Use of Tech by @ICTEvangelist via @sylviaduckworth @BobbiC07 #Edtech #edchat|
|#mschat every Thursday at 8:00 pm Eastern Standard Time. And as Troy says, “The Twitter never stops!”|
7 Easy Ways to Support Student Writing in Any Content Area
3 Things Students Should Have Before They Leave High School
- Students should be connected through a social network with other people in their field of choice.
- Students should have a digital portfolio.
- Students should have an “about.me” page.
Draftback is a Chrome extension that lets you play back any Google Doc’s revision history (for docs you can edit). It’s like going back in time to look over your own shoulder as you write.
Stanford History Education Group
The United States Reading Like a Historian curriculum includes 71 stand-alone lessons organized within 11 units. These lessons span colonial to Cold War America and cover a range of political, social, economic, and cultural topics. Each lesson includes a 1-2 day plan that outlines the lesson’s activities and sets of adapted and modified documents along with guiding questions and graphic organizers to support student analysis, use of evidence, and development of historical claims. When appropriate, lessons also include original copies of documents. We encourage teachers to further adapt these lessons and materials for their particular classrooms.
Performance Assessments of Social Studies Thinking
PASST stands for “Performance Assessments of Social Studies Thinking”. It is a Michigan led group developing assessments aligned to the Michigan Content Expectations in Social Studies as well as the Common Core State Standards (CCSS) and the College, Career, and Civic Life (C3) Framework.